I thought for sure I would be judged by not stopping it. He lied to you, he groomed you, he made you feel special to use you. Children don't understand right and wrong when there is an adult they trust involved. I realized its better to face the demons and beat them once and for all. I understand its hard, I smoked weed for so many years. I still cry in pain for all the years that was stolen from me.įirst of all things you use to make you forget or take the pain away needs to be only positive coping skills. Twenty four years later, after therapy, I'm finally healed. I was groomed by my step-father and molested at five also. Your body responded, your child-mind liked the attention and time he spent with you. You liked it because its a natural response. Why did I like it ? why did I do it to my classmates ? why am I like this ? I never told anyone about our secret game. my grades were always so low, I started drinking and using early. I want to make him pay for my social anxiety, for my borderline personality disorder, for everything that's wrong with me. he stole my childhood he made me a perverted young girl. I want to suppress all my dirty fantasies that he gave me. Now as a teenager I look back and I never want to think about sex again. I knew things I shouldn't it would always impress my friends. instead I did it to others my age, I stayed with these thoughts for so long wanting to do it again at 8 years old. it's my fault I should've known it was wrong. I remember liking it and being happy afterwards. so he touched me, performed oral sex on me. he was very nice and told me we had to play a secret game, that it was normal and everybody does it. I used to go on "walks" with this family friend.
Well, I did, but it went right into his eyes. A few of my friends had the bright idea that I go up and spray the perfume on my crush. "One day at school my friends and I were playing around with a bottle of Victoria's Secret perfume spray during recess. So her mom and sister still think the darn cat did it!" I was totally against it and wanted to tell the truth, but I knew it risked our friendship. We tried putting it back together but couldn't, so she decided to lie and tell her mom the cat did it. "One day I was at my friend's house riding on her sister's skateboard when I crashed into her sister's puzzle. My mom caught them in the pool, so they never let her baby-sit again!" It was going pretty far when my parents walked through the door! They asked me where my sister was, and I pointed outside. Well, in the middle of night I found her in the pool with her boyfriend making out. "Once when my parents went away for the weekend, my older sister had to baby-sit. I got up to get a flashlight in my closet, and when I got back, I tripped over one of my (many) shoes and landed on the bed right next to him! So we start kissing, you know, just the innocent stuff, but it quickly got steamier! Before we knew it, we heard my sister's car in the driveway, so I had to put on my shirt and he had to get his shoes on and make it to the back door in lightning speed! It was so devious!"
There happened to be a thunderstorm that night, so right in the middle of the movie the power went out.
"My parents and sister were out of the house one night, so I invited over this boy I had a crush on to watch a movie. Perhaps we should've picked a more private place to make out!" She was so mad and didn't speak to me EVER again.
Right before we went back into the theater, we started making out! Right at that moment, my friend walked out the door and saw us. Before the movie her BF said he wanted to buy us popcorn, so I went with him. I thought her BF was really hot, and he must have thought I was too because he kept staring at me. "I went to the movies with an old friend, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's friend.